3 things you need to stop living with grudges.

So,you’re pissed off with someone right? Maybe more.. Good for you who isn’t. So how long do you see yourself in this state? What could be, in your opinion, the right way to end such anger?

Whatever responses to the above questions you’re searching right now, the reality is, it’s just normal to feel bad or be disappointed about someone’s action or behaviour as humans. But how we manage such fury should be the what matters most.

Holding  grudges against someone or people is one of the greatest forms of self imposed unhappiness, especially if the person isn’t aware. Be it from your ex, coworker, family member, friend or whoever it is, it only assures you of unhappiness at least for sometime.

Everyone of us has at some point held a grudge on someone for different reasons. Either for being disrespected, not treated fairly, misunderstandings and many more. Some grudges were short term, long term or maybe a lifetime. Whatever situation it is, allowing yourself to remain in a toxic state will hardly change anything. More often, grudges only help console ourselves for practically nothing, especially if you do nothing about it. 

Below are 3 things you need to save yourself from such toxic state. 

1. Condition your mind.

 The first thing to do especially when it comes to making yourself happy, is preparing your mind for happiness. You need to remember that life is full of unexpectations. So, sometimes you’ll be cheated, disrespected, misunderstood, or things you could never expect. Humans have weaknesses and not always reliable. So by conditioning or preparing your mind with such consideration, you become more prepared and capable in adapting to surprises.

2. Focus on positivity.

You can’t always want happiness by being negative. Remain positive. This can sometimes be difficult. If you’re disrespected or feel someone’s not treating you right, you may consider letting the person know through some form of communication and how you communicate matters. Sometimes, for whatever reasons, the person may not make him/herself available. Fine, you’ve done your part and don’t have to feel guilty about it. You may want to avoid the person and move on, rather than always expressing your frustration whenever you come in contact with the person. By always staying positive means you try to retaliate anything that hinders your happiness with a positive mindset. In so doing, you try to bring back a state of mind free of toxic thoughts which isn’t just not healthy but could lead to poor decision making.

3. Be confident.

You need to believe in yourself. Confidence here means, you not  allowing yourself fall easily or let something bring you down very easily. You always believe no matter what comes as a challenge, you can find the right recipe to move forward. Most people who keep long term grudges lack some form of self confidence. They find it hard to move on even if those who treated them badly asked for forgiveness. So,they continue to live with heavy hearts.

As humans, it’s normal to feel sad. But holding grudges especially for as long as possible, is just another way of expressing weakness. We always have a choice on how we want to remain happy in life. Sometimes challenges are just a test to our personality, how better we know ourselves. Without preparing our minds for the unknown, become positive or being confident, it becomes difficult to forgive and move forward.